Many professionals reach a point where they sense a widening gap between who they are and how they show up at work, and naming that gap is often the first step toward finding steadiness again.

The Cost of Inauthenticity in Your Career

There are times when work feels off in a way that goes deeper than a stressful week or a difficult project. You might notice yourself holding back, adjusting your voice, or shrinking parts of your personality to fit expectations that no longer align with who you are. These shifts may seem minor at first, but over time they can leave you feeling disconnected, drained, or unsure of your next step.

In my work as an executive coach, I often meet professionals who sense that something is misaligned but have not yet had the space to articulate why. They describe feeling stuck, restless, or out of sync with their values. When we slow things down and look at the patterns together, a clearer picture often emerges. They are operating in ways that do not feel true to who they are, and the cumulative cost of that inauthenticity has begun to take a toll.

Authentic leadership is not about oversharing or presenting a polished version of yourself. It is about understanding your values, honoring your strengths, and showing up in ways that feel grounded and sustainable. When those elements fall out of alignment, the tension becomes hard to ignore.

That tension often shows up quietly at first, and it can take time to recognize the inner conflict that has been building.

The Inner Conflict

Dr. Rose built on psychologist Carl Rogers’ idea of incongruence—the gap between who we believe ourselves to be and how we actually live. When we feel pressure to meet others’ expectations instead of honoring what feels true, it creates an internal conflict.

This “war within” doesn’t just stay inside us. It can erode confidence, cloud our decisions, and strain relationships. It also shows up at work: a lack of authenticity can weaken trust, engagement, and performance.

Benefits of Authenticity

When we choose authenticity, we begin to resolve that conflict. Living in alignment with who we are helps us:

• Strengthen confidence in our decisions

• View the world with more optimism (e.g., a belief in win-win situations)

• Build more meaningful relationships

As Mel Robbins said, “Everybody deserves to live an authentic life.”

A Ripple Effect

Something that made an impression on me was how Dr. Rose’s research shows we’re more alike than different. Most people share the same core desires: to live with integrity, to contribute positively, and to be true to themselves. When even a few people choose to live authentically, the ripple effects can change entire communities.

Reflection Questions

• Where do you feel pressure to be someone you’re not?

• What’s one choice you could make this week that feels more authentic to you?

• If you’re leading others: How might authenticity—or the lack of it—be shaping performance and trust on your team?

Authenticity doesn’t require having it all figured out. It’s about making daily choices that align with your values and who you believe yourself to be in the moment. Those small choices not only strengthen your own confidence, but they also create ripple effects in the workplaces and communities you’re part of.

📖 Learn more about Clarifying What Matters: Creating Direction for Your Career

➡️ Curious to listen? Here’s the podcast episode with Mel Robbins and Dr. Todd Rose.